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Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1. I don’t understand how I can hate you so much and love you at the same time. It’s irritating to the point where I could scratch off all the skin on my arms and pull all the hair out of my head. I can’t even count how many times I’ve literally told myself and others that I am done with you and yet, the moment you speak or say anything to me, good or bad, all of that goes away. I hate that no matter how many times you piss me off or hurt me, I always get sucked back into this box of friendship. Sometimes it feels like too much but at the same time… losing you and your part in my life is something I know I could never deal with. Time has come and gone with us and yet here we are, still rowing in the same boat. I could never really hate you or even dislike you. If I tried it wouldn’t work. You do this thing to me that very few people have ever done and that scares me a lot.

2. I wish things were how they used to be. I’m sorry if it’s my fault they changed. Things are different and not in a bad way but sometimes I wish things could be less complicated and back to when things were simple and fun and easy. I’m sorry if you feel replaced or pushed back. No one could ever replace you. You’re special to me and no one could ever fill the spot I’ve made for you. Home.

3. Words cannot explain how angry and disappointed I am with you. You are so inconsiderate of everything you’ve been blessed with. You are completely oblivious and numb to the consequences your actions have brought you. It seems like you only find remorse or even show a glimpse of having a heart when they take you away. I rarely hope for someones life to get ruined but sometimes I think people’s lives need to hit rock bottom before they see God’s wonder.

4. Am I sad we’re not really friends anymore? Nope. Not really. You’ve completely lost your mind.

5. I’m really disappointed in how you treat her. She’s done nothing to you but be sweet and gracious and generous and you repay her by treating her like a bum who tried to clobber you over the head on the street. You seem to portray sometimes that you have this everlasting light of love that can shine over anyone and everyone, it just happens to be that you choose not to shine it on her. Why is that? What possessed you to be so cruel and two sided? Why do you have to be so fake?

6. I’m sorry but he’s really annoying and I cannot see you with him.

7. I miss you a lot. You’re one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had. We so different in every definition of the word and yet we fit so well together. I hope to God that your positive attitude and endless happiness gets passed to me. I hope I’ve impacted your life half as much as you have mine. I pray that one day, you’ll be able to see passed this wall you’ve built in front of you. You could do so much more and be so much more if you just opened your eyes.

8. *I’ve seen your act and I know all the facts but I’m still in love with who I wish you were*

9. Why has there always been distance between us. I’m friends with a lot of people who are your kind and yet….me and you… that’s not us.

10. You are amazing.