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So I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’ve been feeling so irritated lately with a multitude of people. It’s like I have this callousness that keeps building especially towards certain individuals. My list of irritations”

I hate drama. I, absolutely, hate it and try ever so strongly to abstain from it but its nasty ways sometimes reel me in. I try very hard to claw my way out of it because I hate getting stuck in the whirlwind of miscommunications and “he-said, she-said’s”. I have a very small group of friends for a reason and when I think about it, we never have crazy drama. Sometimes, stupid and minor things but nothing that ever really tears us apart and I like it that way. I wish people would just stop over-complicating life and relationships and embrace the simplicity that comes with it sometimes.

I am so irritated right now because I KNOW I’m being used. Part of me wants to just go out and say it. My brother tells me to just stop being the nice girl and be blunt and just say it and I want to so badly but I know it will be out of selfishness. Almost like, I gave up and let my pride take over me. I’m not sure if it’s the right timing but I, also, know that I can’t just let this individual bathe in this hypocrisy. If someone is doing something deliberately wrong that I should tell them. I mean, what do I do? If one claims to be “getting closer to God” should I be the one who just throws their sin in their face and say “HEY! LOOK! This is where you screwed up!” I don’t even know if this person is serious about God or if it’s just one of those “I’ll come close to you when I need you and when I have everything I want I’ll go away again” relationships. Gahhhhhhh.

I’ve said this before and I will say this again. I HATE it when people read the Bible out of context. I HATE when people just choose bit and pieces or random phrases of the Bible to fit their point when it’s completely irrelevant. I get so annoyed when people act like they know what they’re talking about because “so and so” told them but didn’t take the time to research it themselves. Study it, by all means, share it if you will but when sharing or teaching, you have the responsibility of sharing valid information. Real and true information, not just opinions and if you are going to throw your opinion in there then TELL THEM IT’S ONLY YOU’RE OPINION! Too many people have been told false garbage because of what people “think”. You are going to be held accountable for what you tell another person and if what you do causes another to stumble then you’ll have a lot of answering to do. Preaching the truth is great but a lot of people misconstrue what the Bible is really saying and they forget about the responsibility that comes with sharing that stuff. For example, tattoos. This is such a controversial subject. The first thing people bring up about not getting tattoos is Leviticus. Good grief! Would they just read? They always talk about how it says not to make marks in your body or get tattoos… yeah… FOR THE DEAD. People are so quick to bring out that one statement but what about the other things it says in there? What about how it says to not wear clothes made out of two different materials? Am I sinning for wearing skinny jeans? Most people know that skinny jeans is made of spandex and cotton. What about how it says not to cut the hair on the sides of your head or trim the edges of your beard. What about that? Does that mean any man who shaves or chops off the hair on the sides of their head are sinning? People are so quick to cast “judgment” on other people when we don’t even have the right to judge. A judge appoints a punishment for people so where do we fit in that? Look, I don’t care if you’re a “Christian” and you have a tattoo or not. I care more about your reasoning. To me it’s art or maybe just a statement. If someone is getting a tattoo to piss someone off or to prove something then I totally don’t agree with it but it’s not my choice anyway. I could definitely appreciate a person who is using it to honor God. I don’t know…now I’m rambling.

I’m feeling so discouraged. I can’t find a job anywhere and it’s making me pull my hair out. I feel conscious about myself. I don’t know what I am doing wrong and I will honestly say that I’m kind of confused about what God is trying to tell me. I, honestly, don’t know if He’s telling me this field isn’t for me or if He’s telling me that I need to have more faith.

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